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| If there's really one thing I hate,
Is my capacity to hate.
If I fill my world with love and respect,
I get hate back.
Meh, times be troublin' for me,
And I'm not sure if I wanna endure,
The endless disses that are reminiscent
Of all the things I abhor.
Bah, I hate the word hate. I hate the concept of hate. I hate that I hatin', cuz that just ain't me.
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| These recent days have been heart wrenchingly delicious
To those who feed on drama.
I'm not the type of girl that hates drama, in fact
I welcome a stress factor or two.
But when it comes to life and death,
I recently came to the conclusion that I need not deal with this.
Hath my choices been different,
Hath my choices lead me to different ends.
Rather recently I found my decisions
Led me to delirious trends -
Through these tough times,
The only thing my heart can do is amend.
Fixing these troubled times, the tatter tagging
Of "EMO" has encroached upon my living.
So recently I decided to give up all things that I enjoy,
So instead of feeding the beast, my love and hope I keep giving.
But through the imperfection of man,
I do digress.
Recently I realized this,
And recently I gave up.
Recently I almost lost a friend,
Recently I realized that I can't bare a grin -
'Till the days the sun shines bright again,
Or when all those left unsaid are brought to light, *ahem*
Let me the first to say,
That recently I have avoided all that I can,
For the fear that I might say:
"I just recently lost a friend today." | | |
| Past Midnight.
Thoughts flow, no ideas caught, what is there to know?
The grass is greener of the other side - maybe on the other side of love and its derivatives.
No boy, I ain't that serious, not that serious about the feelings I got for ya.
I ain't about to quit, although I wish it would end, for the likes of ya, has got me in a spin.
Spin, spin, dizzy, dizzy - I'm so confused, about life, about love, about courage.
My happiness is a mirage, but really my life is empty - not to be emo,
But I wanna be the one on your team-o. Lolz got me thinking mang, every minute we spent
And all the memories we bent, torn, crushed, amazed (How is it that I am able...)
To function without the cable of technology, and as long as I know that you enable
the sweet thoughts of life onto the table, I believe that you're the medicine.
Cure, every day I wake up with a purpose, the meaning is to give to others...
And if ever you were there for me, I'd embrace every minute of it.
I can't be the one who holds your hand underwater, although I can
be the one who can help you, hold your hand under pressure.
Some stuff we went through, never ever forgetful,
But when you're being mean, you get a mouthful.
Of my yellin' and screamin', although all of it is endearment -
To your sense of humor and charisma, your courage and smile. | | |
| I don't blame her for being cute; neither do I blame the warmness of her smile. I don't blame her for her imperfections - rather, I blame the spirit that's within her. This spirit is what I call "The Ignorance."
How is it that I am kept with so much forgiveness? Though i cannot stand the ones who lack the knowledge of what each of their actions are, what am I to do?
I know, I have made a mistake. I should have warned her, but though in warning her, I lose all contact and trust of that gentle woman. I do not love her in eros, but in obligation to my fellow sister, no blood relative, I cannot stand one more second in her path of doom. I acknowledge the fact that I also have my own mistakes, I also have my own imperfections, I also have my own downfalls. But, then, who am I to say that she should stop? Why, I know I would be so embarrassed to be talked to by people I don't trust. "How can I listen to the ones that I don't even trust?" said she.
I, myself have this recurring problem. I have the hardest time trusting, and now I am trying to encourage someone else to trust me? Though paradoxical it may seem, I feel the inner "mother" within me. What is the reason for my actions? Do I know that I would be only contradicting myself if I tell someone else to trust me, even though I don't trust them? I understand that this whole process is part of learning who we truly are.
Discipline may make the child tame, but what about the wild who remain tame in front of others? Leading a double life excruciates the ones who know it, and knows that it is disheartening. Prevention is the key to the cure, but how would you prevent something if you don't know what is wrong?
Discouraged, I still stand strong in front of others because I prove the others wrong. I prove to myself that I will not lose. I prove to my family that I will not lose. I prove to my God that I will not lose.
So I will show to you, my cousin, that together we can stand strong against the fight that taunts us everyday. It will not be easy, but we have to do this, for the encouragement of ourselves, the goals that we keep, the lives that we live, the lives we affect; and so thereof, I promise to you, I will never fail you. | | |
| Eating away at me, petty thoughts waste me
On unrighteous deeds of people around
That take the tolls of my extent. O'er
The things that are left untouched,
Now poked and examined and observed.
Why should they not feel content with
What is already to their avail?
Cannot perhaps one be happy, and not complain
About what is natural to the nature of man?
I try to reach complacency with that which is normal
But to those who oppose the ways things roll,
I cannot bare to stand the lie behind the verisimilitude.
Back off! Back off! Bare me not, for which I do myself.
Interference, it is the case.
Negative externality, is the reality. | | |
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